yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Verdict: uncircumcised.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
