How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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