i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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