4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
