i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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