I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
