1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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