You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize