i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize