She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
