honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
