i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
