your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
