I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
