i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
