Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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