i wish there were pregnant emoticons
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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