I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
