just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
