it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
