2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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