I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
