Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
And then he peed in my hair
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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