why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
