Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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