I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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