Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize