It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
