Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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