If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
