I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
