Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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