We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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