mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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