Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
