she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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