Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
