I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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