Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
