I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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