it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
