thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
