you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I can't turn off my feet"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
