We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
