She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
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