You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize