like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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