no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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