Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
