Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
