I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
