return my video game
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
