Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
