I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
