I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
