This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
