That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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