OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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