There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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