Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
