Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
