You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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